2 months...

So hard to believe it has been two months since I last held Ava. Her death is much more real to me now than it was right after she passed. Someone told me that our hearts only let us take in what we can handle and each day I've been able to take in more. I'm still distracting myself as best I can but she is never far from my mind and my heart. 

Everything is still so hard.  I break down when I see her pictures or when Myla says how much she misses her (which she tells me at least five times a day).  Our home is now quiet when it was filled with Ava's laughter.  I think that is the worst.  Her giggle was so sweet and loud!  I miss it and her so very much.  

We have noticed signs she is sending us that she is still with us.  It brings comfort right now that we desperately need.  I had the most wonderful dream about her on Christmas.  She was in heaven with long flowing hair surrounded by light.  She told me she was okay and that she loved me.  Then she told me I was the best mommy in the whole wide world!  It was so sweet to hear that from her again.  

And because I know you miss her smile too, here is a picture of her with her daddy.  

 
    

Comments
6 Responses to “2 months...”
  1. I love you and your family a million times over, although nothing I or anyone can say can ease any of this for any of you, we will all be a constant comfort for you when those times just seem too much to bear.

  2. Lisbeth says:

    Sounds like Ava is trying to comfort you and ease your pain. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Thankful you have so many pictures to preserve her memory, spirit, and giggles.

  3. Lisbeth says:

    Sounds like Ava is trying to comfort you and ease your pain. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Thankful you have so many pictures to preserve her memory, spirit, and giggles.

  4. Krista Moore says:

    I have continued to think of Ava and your family every day. I'm so glad to hear about your dream of Ava and the message she sent you. I'm so sorry your time with her was so short. I'll continue to think of you.

  5. While I was at Wal-Mart today, there was a rack of picture frames in front of the baby stuff. I have looked at your sweet girls face HUNDREDS of times, before and after she passed. I had to do a double take. I swear, in one of the filler pictures in the frame was a little girl that looked so much like her! I took a picture. Your daughter reminds me everyday to hug my babies an extra time. Thank you for sharing her beautiful smile. I'd like to share the picture I snapped with you if you'd like to see it. :)

  6. While I was at Wal-Mart today, there was a rack of picture frames in front of the baby stuff. I have looked at your sweet girls face HUNDREDS of times, before and after she passed. I had to do a double take. I swear, in one of the filler pictures in the frame was a little girl that looked so much like her! I took a picture. Your daughter reminds me everyday to hug my babies an extra time. Thank you for sharing her beautiful smile. I'd like to share the picture I snapped with you if you'd like to see it. :)

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