Coping with DIPG- Struggling

I have been struggling to write something since Friday focusing on how we are doing with this news but I find it too difficult.  I'm not optimistic right now and I keep erasing everything because it is so depressing to say how I'm feeling. 
We are trying to be strong for Ava but we are breaking down.  I feel like it's not fair that she has to go through this, that our family has to to go through this and that we aren't the first family to face DIPG and we won't be the last.  
I never hated cancer so much as I do right now when it is threatening to take my child away.  It's like being tortured knowing that someday your child might die and not just pass peacefully but struggle to breathe, to eat, to move and be fully aware of what is happening to their body.  I don't know why any parent has to lose a child in any kind of situation.
  This is becoming more real to me these last couple of days since Ava is having a real difficult time walking and the look in her eyes is pure sadness and frustration.  She can't stand up straight and is complaining of pain in her legs.

My heart is breaking and we pray for time with our sweet girl. 

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13 Responses to “Coping with DIPG- Struggling”
  1. Carla S says:

    My heart breaks for you. I wish there was some way to take away your pain and your struggle. My continued prayers...

  2. Praying for you all and don't be afraid to say how you really feel! You are allowed to be depressed, angry, hurt anything your feeling is acceptable. You are dealing with something no parent should ever have to so don't feel like you can't express yourself or it is wrong to feel how you do. If you can express yourself anywhere you can do it here, this is about your family and what you are going through. Everyone that follows this is here to listen to you vent when you need it, to keep up on what is going on with your family and help however we can remember that <3

  3. Jennifer Wilkerson says:

    OH my Cynthia this just breaks my heart! (((HUGS))) I wish I could take away all your pain! None of this is fair!!! So sorry honey! You all are always in our prayers!!!

  4. Brooke says:

    Cynthia, no parent should ever have to go through something like this. Nor should any child. My prayers are with you and yoru family. I have no idea what you are going through. Just know that you are being fervently prayed over, and that your little girl is loved, worldwide.

  5. Crystal says:

    I cannot imagine what this is like.. you and Ava are in my prayers and my thoughts every day.. I wish with all my might this wasn't happening to you all.. your really such an amazing family and Ava a beautiful perfect little girl who deserves the world!

  6. Melissa Pizzalato says:

    This also breaks my heart. Ava is very very dear to us and it's not fair that she has to go through it. Praying so much for you guys, love you! HUGS!!!!

  7. I can't even imagine, Cynthia. I know we are only FB friends, but I love just as if we were friends in "real" life. My heart breaks for you, sweet Ava and your whole family. Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

  8. Brittany Redden says:

    My heart aches for you guys.. Praying as always. I wish I had the words and knowledge to say all will be okay. I hate that, that sweet girl is in pain and going through this all. As well hate that a mother has to watch her child struggle through her life when she deserves everything beyond the rainbows! <3 you guys!

  9. Steph Kuiper says:

    Oh Cynthia, I just feel terrible for you. This should never happen to any child and it breaks my heart that it is happening to yours. Please know that we all hurt with you, that you can vent anytime that you want, that you have more friends and prayers than you know. I wish there was something I could do for your family. If I could work a miracle for you, I would in a heartbeat. I pray for peace for you, Jeremy, Ava, and Myla everyday! God bless you!!

  10. Aunt Bean says:

    The Dawson Family,
    This so breaks our hearts to read your pain. I can't imagine the struggles you are going threw. We as a family are here, praying and thinking of you.
    we Love you
    Aunt Bean,Uncle Jay,Emily and Haley

    Busha and Aunt Louise

  11. You're always in my prayers...there's nothing I can really say that would make any of this easier. I have no idea what you are going through. And I could never imagine going through such a struggle with such a young child. But I can say this. You're an amazing woman and a very wonderful mother. You have always put your children before yourself. I know God has plans for us all, whether we truly understand them or not.. It can be frustrating, but Ava has given so much hope to people all around us. People she's met and people unknown. She has truly blessed so many and will continue to do so. I hope things get easier and I pray you have many more years to cherish with her. We will never give up hope for that ((HUGS))

  12. Leah Nicole says:

    Ava and your family have been in my prayers for months, and will continue to be. There are no words that I can muster that will make you feel any better, and my heart aches for what you are all going through. If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask.

    God is in control. Remember to trust Him.

  13. Brittany Algorri says:

    I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. My heart breaks for you. Ava is in our thoughts and prayers daily. {HUGS}

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